Worrying time with Diana away until I got her from Harnser after which we drove home to the children to explain our decision to live apart.
I would find another house locally to which they could come and visit at any time and I could see them whenever I wanted to and they me. Back to Wiggly after at Montagu Street
I slept quite reasonably and woke up early, beating my alarm clock.
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My rash was getting better with each day and now the full course of antibiotics was finished and I was just taking the antihistamines until they were finished.
Hard work this morning getting the breakfast ready, walking Sam and then joining Debbie and Della on their way to the bus stop.
It was the last day of Debbie's examinations and Della was of on a school trip to a them park and they both went happily off.
The rest of Sam's run, the washing up and then some work at my desk wondering and worrying about how Diana was.
I really needed to talk to Diana to find out if she ws all right and then to somebody about what to do.
I telephoned Wiggly in the end and went over to see her for lunch again, having emailed her with some of my worries.
A nice lunch at a different pub than usual but I managed to depress Wiggly with my worries and indecision about whether to leave Diana and the family and what was going to happen about our forthcoming holiday if Diana refused to come home and stayed in Norfolk.
It was her suggestion that I did not wait for the next day but drove over to Norfolk that afternoon to find out what was going on.
It being already after 2.00pm, there was no time for me to pack and plan to replace her so I just left a note of instructions for Debbie and took off straight away.
I still tried to raise Diana on the telephone as I drove but, as she was not responding, I still left a message saying how worried I was about her and that I was on my ay to see her.
A stop for a mug of tea and piece of swiss roll on the way on what was by now a very warm day.
When I rolled up eventually at Harnser, I was pleased and relieved to see that Diana was in residence and physically all right. She had put out the two deck chairs on to the balcony so that we could talk.
It seems that she had not been all right the day before and had even contemplated suicide which had been my worst fear.
She had spent her time completely tidying and cleaning Harnser off all of the building dust and mess of this and we staying recently.
This had been a therapy or cocoon, as she called it, to insulate her from her problems and she did not want to come back or see the children whilst I was there.
It was her view that I had to pack all of my things and leave before coming back but I sought to persuade her that she should come back straight away as the girls needed her and would be wondering if she was all right.
We sat and talked a while and she said that she had come to realise that I could not give Wiggly up even though she wanted me back and to save our marriage.
I was not so sure and said I would miss her and the children and really wanted to stay at home and if I thought I could fix things, then I would, but I feared that it would not work.
We sat and cried together, particularly after we took another look at the loft room that I had created for the girls. I think that Diana had come to realise that I had not wanted to hurt her, nor break up the family.
However the problems of our marriage had lead to me finding what I needed elsewhere and, this being unbearable as far as Diana as concerned, meant that our beak up had become inevitable.
We very sadly and reluctantly agreed a course of action and, for me, it was a close run decision and I was still unsure that I had done the right thing.
Diana would come home this evening; me driving on ahead and packing as much in my car as I could before she arrived after; and then we would sit and tell the children and I would leave that night.
At least i had succeeded in getting her to come back but at the cost of me having to leave myself; something I never ever wanted to do.
My drive back was accompanied by that sinking feeling that I had experienced when both my father and then my mother had died.
I called ahead to Wiggly as I had to in preparation for my coming to stay with her for the night and also to poor Jim Bird who deserved my apology for my not being able to deliver the cement mixer as promised.
He understood my problem totally when I told him my news. I returned to The Hayling View to find the girls frolicking happily in the swimming pool, totally unaware of what was going to take place and it made a very poignant scene.
I used this opportunity to get my office packed up and then my clothes in the bedroom so that I had just about finished loading up the car when Diana arrived back.
The girls had just about finished for the day and were tired and in their rooms but I had got them to stay up and, albeit reluctantly, agree to come down and see their Mum and I.
We sat there and, with Diana crying uncontrollably, I explained that Mum and I had not been getting on very well lately and, having spent much time apart, had agreed that we should not live together any more and should part.
I would find another house locally to which they could come and visit at any time and I could see them whenever I wanted to and they me.
Diana intervened and said that I should tell the truth and admit that I had fallen in love with someone else and I answered Della and Debbie's questions by saying that we would be separating but not divorcing and that I was not planning to marry someone else.
Debbie took the news quietly with questions and Della much more tearfully and then, after a while, they both said that they wanted to go to bed.
I went up and saw each of them in turn; Debbie first for a cuddle and chat and then Della with whom I cried and we both cried together.
I gave them both a piece of paper with an expression of love and my telephone number on it. Then Diana and I saw Daniel together in the kitchen and I explained things as Diana again cried uncontrollably
He was quite calm and chirpy, saying that even Gary had seen it coming. He took up my suggestion of giving Diana a long cuddle and I left them to it, making my exit to the sound of Diana shrieking and wailing which was a heart-rending experience.
I was glad to have Daniel still living at home to give physical and emotional support to the rest of the family at a time like this.
That sinking feeling again as I drove on to Wiggly, finding her ironing and being ready for a drink to retell the day's experiences; or most of them.
We unpacked and settled Sam into the downstairs hall of the house on a blanket and then went late to bed to cuddle, make love and fall tired and exhausted to sleep.
I told her of my plan to find a place in St Neots, accessible to the girls with her maintaining her own place at 3 Montagu Street.